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Apple Crisp

January 4, 2011

Meanwhile, as I lusted for a MacBook Air/Pro/Pod/Whatever, Santa delivered one for my girlfriend. I was pretty excited about it, and evidently transparent to an ex-co-worker on Facebook who wrote, “Is this like when Barney bought Wilma a bowling ball for her birthday? Is it really the girlfriends new Mac?” Yes, Mike, it is, but I had to make sure it booted up with that cool sound and connected to the “on-line.”

It didn’t. Well, it recognized my home network Christmas night, and the happy Mac owner’s the next day, but then it said goodbye wireless world and I morphed from “great boyfriend” to “I think he bought me a re-furb…” I sprang into action like if Bruce Wayne was a tech-support guy instead of a crime-stopping dark knight. Traveling home in a blinding snowstorm, I lurched to the bat-attic (really, I’ve had bats in my belfry up there) to research the potential problem and ingeniously implement the solution…

After hours of effort and several intentional outages of my home wi-fi for setting changes, I dejectedly wrote her Monday night at 10:06, “I know more about Macbooks and Linksys routers than I want to know. Still no solution. I’m beginning to think it may be the Airport card (hardware) in the MacBook.”

For Tuesday lunch, I was chagrined to learn the “Genius Bar” serves neither food nor drink. Just Genius, apparently. Anyway, the Genius who helped me determined it was indeed the Airport card and then completely bummed me out by announcing they had none in stock. I said a quiet goodbye to the uncommunicative mold of plastic and silicon and went to work. Near the end of the Wednesday workday, I called to inquire about the dumb terminal. “We got the part, but it’s in a long queue. It won’t be ready for a day or two.” All Dr. Seuss rhyming aside, an hour later another Genius called me at home to say the unit was ready. I see…

I was waiting at the door of the Apple Store Thursday morning as if Wilco tix were going on sale. They weren’t, but picking up the shiny white Mac with a new AirBrain was almost as exciting. I fired it up and it saw the wireless nets of “Apple Store,” “Genius Bar” and “Betsey Johnson.” I shut it down quickly before Betsey saw me. Since buying my daughter a sweater-coat there, she has me shrieking “holy spam, Batman” on a daily basis.

Overall, it was a frustrating experience to have a special Christmas present not work, but Apple lived up to their excellent service reputation with the exception of that “long queue” thing. With all their handheld iCheckout terminals and iPad Genius Bar appointment queuing, you think they could have a better handle on their repair schedules.

Still, I lust for a MacPadPodAirPhone. Until then, I’ll use Wilma’s.

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