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Two Simple Christmas Holiday Office Party Rules

December 7, 2012

Christmas PartyThis week, (Work)Joyce sent me the article, Flu season has early start and could be severe, CDC says, and asked, ‘Should we think about re-using the “managing through flu season” content we created a couple of years ago?’ She’s the boss, plus it was a popular document, so yeah… Anyway, while my elves work on a quick update to our 2009 Flu and H1N1 guide, I’ll help you stave off imminent threats to your health and career.

There is no shortage of annual articles on how to not get fired by channeling Charlie Sheen or Lindsay Lohan at your office Christmas, oops, “Holiday” party. Yeah, through the Twitterstream, I received links from ManpowerGroup, Resume Bear, Fast Company, and Blogging4Jobs. They are all worthy reads, but it really can be um, distilled down to one simple rule:

1. Don’t get drunk.

If you simply follow rule number 1, you can avoid offending, harassing, stripping, grinding Mike (why do they call him “Magic?”) from Marketing on the dance floor, or crashing down off a bar stool like a wobbly ten-pin finally toppling over… in front of the entire HR team. Really. It’s that easy. Just lay off the egg-nog.

So, rule number 1 keeps you employed. Rule number 2 keeps you and your office pals from a week of feeling like you broke rule number 1 with a whole bottle of cheap tequila:

2. Don’t double dip.

That’s really all that needs to be said for most of my boomer and GenX peers to not share germy saliva, but many of the new Millennials in the office sadly missed the Seinfeld phenomena. They stare blankly at Seinfeld references like shrinkage, the Manzier, or even Festivus, for the rest of us.

For them, here’s rule number 2:

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